Bunny Does Mumbai

Welcome 1Night Standers, I have the recently unemployed Thomas Barkley in my hot seat today.

*Turns toward Thomas*

*Smiles and pulls out a large book*

I understand you’re looking for employment quite recently, in fact.

Yep. Newly fired. Still a little pissed off about the whole incident, if you want to know the truth.

Tell us a little bit about yourself. What you do for work...your hobbies...if you’ve sold your soul.

Soul? Oh my God. That’s a personal question! But no, no, I have not. Well, sometimes when you’re working the company grind it FEELS like you have. I’m am—was—a contract negotiator for oil companies. The ones who go into Third World countries to pump out their oil. You wouldn’t believe how many rules and regulations there are for each different country. So, now that you mention it, I do – did – work for large oil hungry corporations that preyed on Third World countries. Soul-less?

*Shrugs* Perhaps. It’s a job.

What? It was a serious question.

*Scrutinizes Bunny*

You’re asking me that question while wearing a see-through pink camisole and a skirt higher than the Empire State Building? Uh huh. Let’s go on to the next question.

Listen, sweet stuff, when you can carry off this outfit the way I do, which will be never, you can comment of it. I rock this. On to the next question: I’m not done negotiating for your soul. Everyone has a price, and I’m sure I can find yours. Besides, it’s not so bad down there. Nice and warm, none of that polar...vortex, stuff. I have to tell you, since the thermometer dropped, I’ve been doing quite the business.

*Sees Thomas staring—Blinks—Waves hand.* Never mind. Don’t need you that bad, sweet stuff. So tell the audience why a 1Night Stand? Why a high-dollar, exclusive service, especially if you’ve recently found yourself without a job?

Actually I asked Madame Eve for a date a long time ago. Like six months ago. I received no reply. *narrows eyes* Frankly, I was beginning to wonder if the whole thing was a scam. I had absolutely no idea she’d set me up the day I lost my–as you pointed out, completely soul-sucking-job. To tell you the truth, I was considering bagging the whole idea.

*takes a deep breath*

But the red light district in Mumbai is really not my scene.

It’s not so bad. A lot of action there. So, the infamous application.

Tell us a little about your date’s requirements, what you’d like to see in your ideal man.

I have to tell you, I’m a sucker for an accent too. I tell you, I was so devastated after Rashid’s arrest, that for a long time I couldn’t even bring myself to think about sex. I buried myself in my work. When I filled out the application, I might as well have just put HELP in all big letters. That’s where my mind was. I don’t have a particular type that turns me on, but dark hair and dark eyes definitely help, and a nice body. And I’m totally with you on the accent!

Was Arjun everything you thought he’d be?

Arjun was a big surprise to me. I never expected to find him in a million years. He’s the kind of guy who’s soft in the middle and that makes me soft in the middle, but he’s also strong. I’m stronger on the outside, I can stand up to the bullies and take the heat. Arjun is a bends-in-the-wind guy, he’s more a survivor than anything, and I absolutely love him for the pain and suffering he’s already survived in his life, which in my opinion is way too much. I’m so thankful he accepted my offer to try a new life with me.

I understand there was an incident with a gun. Have you ever been shot at before?

Well when you go to negotiate contracts in a Third World countries, you aren’t always dealing with a guy in a suit sitting in a high-rise. Sometimes you’re on a plantation surrounded by guards and the guards are armed and not friendly. Have I been in situations where the guards got a little trigger happy? Sure. Have I been shot personally? No. I try to avoid that all costs. I’ve never had anybody I work with die on an assignment, but it’s a fact of life it could happen. Bullies are everywhere, and like the men who paid for sex with Arjun and then beat the crap out of him? *grits teeth* I want to just f-ing kill them.

I could take care of that little issue, for a teensy-weensy price. Just saying. You know, if you’d like a little pay back. Buy here, pay later.... Kind of like an eternal credit card. We’re having a special this week, too.

You want to shoot me? What? Have you got a pink 22 in your...bra? *raises eyebrows*

Sometimes I’m glad I’m a gay man. I totally don’t understand women.

Silly boy, I meant—take care of Arjun’s former pimp. But if you’d like to experience what it’s like to get shot, I’m happy to oblige. No?

No!

Okay, we’ll move to quickies. Everyone loves the quickies.

Boxers or briefs?

Yes. You don’t think I go Commando on dates do you?

Blonde or brunette? 

Dark all the way. Just like Arjun. Did I mention I love his hair? The color of his skin?

*shifts in seat to conceal burgeoning erection*

Next question.

Lights on or off?

Both. With the lights off you can get hot and heavy but with the lights on it’s a better show. Give me some twilight anytime. I like shadows and seeing the man on top of me.

Are you sure you don’t want to negotiate?

Don’t say that word. Really. It’s a dirty word thanks to you! I guess I’m going to have to look for another job. Know any good Avon representatives that need a hand?

If that’s all it takes.... Look, don’t sell yourself short. I could get you a much better job than that. We have a few openings in the company. You just need to sign this teensy little contract.

*Snaps fingers and twelve foot scroll appears and rolls out in front of him.*

In blood.

*Eyes flash*

Which I can also help you with. Yes?

No!

Well, I guess I have a little negotiating to do. Anyway, to get the inside scoop on Thomas and Arjun’s exclusive date, check out the blurb below.

*Leans forward*

Now about your soul....

Yeah. I think we’re done here! Nice talking to your breasts—I mean you, Bunny. Thanks.

*clears throat*

It’s been a pleasure.

Just keep your butt in that seat, mister. I’m working a deal here. Hey, get back here! Don’t make me stalk you. *Sighs* Now I have to run. Good help is so hard to find these days.

Stranded for twenty-four hours in Mumbai, India, contract negotiator, Thomas Barkley searches for a man who can make him forget his pain. When a trip through the red light district leaves him cold, he turns to Madame Eve’s service and finds a shot at redemption—but first, he has to survive it. 

Indian male prostitute, Arjun, begged Madame Eve to set him up for one night of real pleasure. He knows better than to expect anything but a brief hiatus from his miserable life. When Thomas showers Arjun with tender and very real affection, his heart begins to ache for more than a taste of the life he cannot have. Unfortunately, his boss Ranjeet won’t to let him go without a fight.

Amidst a spray of bullets, Thomas must convince Arjun to take a chance on a new life in America before it’s too late for both of them.

Two Dads and Bunny

Available HERE

Lauren is in trouble. Only the adoption agency lady knows the heartbreaking decision she’s making. But every baby deserves a father and Lauren’s ex isn’t stepping up to the plate. Without a dad for her child, Lauren doesn’t feel she can give her baby what he or she deserves. When her mother sends her to the Castillo Lodge in Castle, Alaska to help with a holiday celebration, Lauren jumps at the chance to forget her worries.

Jorell’s career is soaring. In charge of development for the Castillo Resorts Caribbean region, the only thing on his mind is pursuing a vice presidency. Not romance. But a forced transfer to the frozen north throws him—and his prospects off-kilter.

Zachary lives near Castle, Alaska, but the fishing guide has had little success finding a social life and fears his interest in both men and women may be too wild for the wilderness.

Two men and one pregnant woman…in charge of the holiday activities at the Christmas Extravaganza in Castle, Alaska. Friendship and intense attraction blooms between them. But Madame Eve has her work cut out for her…will Jorell and Zach provide enough reasons for Lauren to change her mind?

*Rides out on a dog sled pulled by hell hounds. Shucks off parka and tosses it to the side*

Good morning 1Night Standers. Today a I have a special guest, Zach, from Two Dads for Christmas. Zach is from somewhere up north, very cold. *snaps fingers and sled and dogs vanish* But we’re going to try real hard to make him feel warm and cozy here. *Leans forward and stares at tall lumberjack-looking man* So, you feeling cozy, Zach? I could light a fire if you’d like. I’m real good at that.

I ummm….

No?

Nods toward seat. Go ahead, sit in my hot-seat. It’ll keep you warm. Don’t be shy. I don’t bite—much.

So, Zach, I understand you’re a fishing guide. What is that all about? I’ve never heard anyone being a fishing guide.

My dad and I run the company, and Mom handles the website. Tourists come mostly the lower 48 to catch—

Do you bait their hooks?

Sometimes, if they need us to.

Um, just out of curiosity, what kind of bait do you use, to attract the er, the fish? Any tips for a girl who’d like to reel a few more—fish—in?

Well what kind of fish were  you interested in? There’s an old guy down the road, does nothing but tie flies all year, never even heads into town, we pay him in supplies and…are you really interested in fishing? Why are you looking at me like that? I think I need to go.

The human kind. Never mind. I have the best bait right here. So, a real outdoor’s man. I’m sure there are a lot of questions from our audience about what it is you do and all, but I have a few that I’ve been dying to know for a couple hundred years, at least. *Blinks* Don’t look at me like that. I’ll have you know I look much younger than my actually nine thousand, er, eight. Back to what everyone is dying to know.

Question number one: If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does it still make a sound?

What do I look like? A lumberjack?

*scowls* Well. You do have that whole Paul Bunion thing going on there. Sheesh, if you don’t want the attention, dress normal. You have heard of Metro Sexual, haven’t you?

*Uncomfortable silence*

What? Do I have two heads or something? It wasn’t a hard question and you don’t have to skirt around the issue like a politician. I know there are people out there that want to know. Fine. Whatever. We’ll move on to question number two now. K?

Does a bear, well, does it...never mind. Of course it does. They’ll eat you up given the opportunity.

*More uncomfortable silence*

Oh, you thought I was going to ask you if it, you know, left little bear muffins in the woods. I already know that, silly. Where else is he going to go—to the outhouse? Not unless he’s looking for takeout. I hear those honey houses make great snack shacks. *Looks out on silent audience* Oh please, like you haven’t noticed on the television that it’s a little more rustic up north.

Speaking of which, one of your dates had a little issue with the rustic side of Alaska. Can you tell the audience a little bit about that?

Oh, the J-man. He wasn’t all that thrilled to come up here at first. But born and raised in the Caribbean, can you blame him? Even when it’s shirt-sleeve weather he’s still pretty bundled up, but Lauren and I have our ways to help him warm up.

Is it true with the endless winter nights in Alaska, you got a very extensive 1Night Stand? Is that why you chose to have it up there?

None of us actually chose the date, it was a gift from a bunch of nosy—thank heavens they were nosy!—friends and relatives.

Well, at least someone was thinking. I’m sure others have thought of booking a 1Night Stand where the night doesn’t end. I mean it really is brilliant if you’re looking to get the most bang for your buck.

I think we are still more or less on our 1Night Stand, although Lauren says we can’t technically call it that after the one night ended, but I haven’t seen any signs of things slowing down. I suppose once she gets a little bigger we’ll have to be careful. Did you know we’re having a baby?

Baby? Alrighty, we’re going to move on to the part of the interview I call quickies. You like Quickies, don’t you, Zach?

Male or female?

Yes.

A little birdie told me you might try to avoid the question. We’ll try again, shall we? Snips and snails or sugar and spice?

If Rex and Paul’s Andie is baking it, anything will be good.

*Growls* Live or artificial bait?

Flies

Flannel or silk?

Flannel

Good to know. Have you ever had a little demon tail?

(Zach attempts to look around her) Do you really have a tail? I thought that was just part of the fairy tale.

Fairy tale? Do I look like a fairy tale? I have a pitchfork too, you want to see it you mouthy.... *Blinks and looks over shoulder* Sorry, slipped. I really am trying to behave after some succubus threatened to turn me into the queen. Just ignore that last bit, K?

So, thanks to Zach for sitting in my hot-seat today. You might as well enjoy it, cause I hear you freeze your butt off up there in the Great North. Of course, if you are ever looking for something a little warmer, call me. I’ll hook you right up.

*Smiles*

Visit us next month on the third Wednesday, when I put another victim—um, guest, through the paces.

To find out about Zach’s special date, visit (Click on magic button here to be transported to Alaska) to get the tell all exclusive.

*Snaps fingers and dogs and sled reappear* Want to take a ride, Zach? Climb on; I’ll give you a lift back to Alaska. You don’t mind if we make a couple stops along the way? I have some errands to run. Shouldn’t take too long. *Smiles wickedly*

 I think I’ll walk. Might be faster. Besides, my mother warned me....

What? Your mother told you to never take rides from strangers? Do I look like a stranger? I’m not a stranger. *Looks back* Did someone rat me out to the queen?

Later. *Waves and vanishes in a puff of smoke*

Bunny interviews a Dragon

Eternal suffering is the fate dealt to Roark Blackwell. A fierce protector under a curse, he longs for a woman can never have. By day, a hideous stone creature, and by night, a flesh and blood immortal, starving for the touch of a single woman. After centuries of torment, he takes his destiny into his own hands and seeks the help of Madame Evangeline. For a single night, he wants to feed his carnal cravings, but what happens when morning comes?

Living dangerously comes second nature to Kaida Lee. Struggling with her dark sexual appetite, her fiery temper and her ancient lineage makes finding an ideal match impossible. A descendent of the dragon, she has a genetic burden that no mere mortal could withstand. Having two cousins succeed in romance with the aid of their friend Madame Eve, she seeks satisfaction through the services of 1Night Stand.

Hello, 1 Night Standers! Today I have a special guest sitting in my hot seat, a dragoness by the name of Kaida Li. Welcome Kaida Li. Please tell the audience a little about yourself, where you come from, your family life—who does your nails.

*Eyes Kaida’s fingers.* Nothing like a good talon sharpening to perk a girl up.

Well, Bunny, thanks for having me. I was gonna ask who does your claws? I’m lovin’ the hot pink zebra stripes. *winks*

This medieval blacksmith my father has been torturing. Does a fab job shaping them.

Where I’m from? Originally, Shanghai, but we moved to New York when I was a kid. I grew up with my twin cousins, Tatsu and Yong, and we were raised by our grandparents.

Truth be told…*glances over her shoulder and around the room, then whispers,* Only our grandparents could handle raising us three. Born in Year of the Dragon, we all tend to be a little hot headed at times,  me, more so than the twins because I’m have much less patience than they do. Our grandparents understood us, because they are double dragons themselves.

*Bunny eyes Kaida, glancing over her shoulders with raised brows.*

Don’t worry, doll, I don’t shift into a full dragon or anything morbid like that.

*Bunny shakes her head.* I didn’t say—oh never mind, go on.

*Kaida sits back with a smile.* I’m a fire performer, I do body burns, fire eating, belly dancing, martial arts, and a few other crazy things, but I don’t think I can comment on them here right now.

My cousins call me the family dare devil. Maybe because of my line of work or perhaps it’s because my favorite place in the world is hanging out on the ledge of my 7^th story studio apartment. Although there is no demon in my bloodline, I do admit, I have a dark side, but it mostly surfaces when the dragon rears its fiery head.

When does that happen?

Usually if someone pisses me off. You see, me and my cousins, carry a gene we cannot hide, being Chinese, we are descendents of the dragon, and any twins born in Year of the Dragon tend to develop certain qualities, or rather talents that we have to learn to master.

You’re a twin, Kaida?

Not exactly; my mother was pregnant with twins, but my sister died before birth, so I’m just me.

Okay, we’ll just jump right in and ask, why seek out Madame Eve?

Well, as you can imagine, my lineage poses a challenge in most aspects of my life, but more recently, in my love life. I found my ex—uh, cheating on me. *smirks with a slight nod* When I was leaving, he grabbed me…Let’s just say, the scaring is healing up nicely, but he will always have a reminder not to mess with a dragoness.

Holy flaming ovaries. You’re kidding, right? I bet that can put quite the crimp in your sex life.

Sure it does, I mean, the ideal mate for me is a dragon, and let’s face it, male dragons are not lined up around the corner looking for a strong, independent woman who doesn’t put up with any shi—uh, nonsense. *bites her lip*

It was a wakeup call for me, I’m sure you have the same problem, Bunny? Mere men can’t withstand some of our more prevailing characteristics. For me, a mortal lover is not flame-retardant, that makes getting hot and bothered in the bedroom, or anywhere else problematic. I have a pretty intense libido, abstinence is not something that appeals to me in the least. *snort*

Who does it appeal to? So, tell us a little about your hunka burning stone. Was he what you expected? Any surprises?

He was so much more than I expected. He has such a huge…*crosses her legs as her cheeks flood with heat* personality.

He does huh? Anything else that’s huge?

He is—6’5 tall, I’m only 5’4. *chuckles out loud*

Roark is strapping, hot and sexy. He has long sandy brown hair, chestnut eyes with broad shoulders, massive biceps and abs you could scrub laundry on! What I didn’t expect, was that he would also be a gentleman, but he’s no push over. He can be dominant and dangerous too, just the way I like em.

Surprises? Yeah, he had a few doozies. I’m still processing everything, but the mind blowing sex makes it worthwhile.  I had no idea how close he had been to me for so many years. I never even knew he existed—well, sort of. It turns out, he had a crush on me for a long time and I had no clue. And then there was the whole age thing, but being with an older man isn’t so bad…His ex was a nightmare though, and as some ex’s do, she left her mark on him. Let me tell ya, that was some fun baggage to deal with!

As a demoness, I can tell you it’s so hard to find the right match these days. I once went to this dating service, Hell Hath No Fury. Have you heard of them? Certainly not as efficient as Madame Eve. They hooked me up with this hot hell lord, which at first seemed like the ideal man, but after we settled into the relationship, he always left his underwear on the floor, the toilet seat up and drank all my beer. It was micro-brew and I had it imported from Vermont. Anyway, he was a great piece of tail, but I had to shove him into the lava pool after he used my toothbrush. A girl’s gotta draw the line somewhere, ya know?

Yup, I know. Men, right? So far, we aren’t at that point of comfort, so I can’t complain.

Sorry, I digress. So, did you shove him in a lava pool? I know a great place if you’re looking for one. Seriously, just give me the word.

*Looks up to the ceiling as she thinks about it* Nah, as fate would have it, he’s fireproof, so he’s an awesome match for me-but I’ll let you know if the need should arise.  *winks*

Okay, let’s move on to some quickies then. Everyone loves the quickies.

Granite or marble?

Granite, the imperfections is what makes it priceless, the more weathered it looks, the more authentic. Marble is shiny and pretty, but one chip and it’s lost its luster.

Fangs or incisors?

*Sighs* That’s tough, I kinds have a thing for both—I’m into biting, and I like it a little rough sometimes. *big grin* I would have to go with incisors, his are pleasurable. *fans self*

Boxers or briefs?

Definitely boxers, I like to leave a little to the imagination—but I love boxer-briefs, best of both worlds.

Are you sure, you don’t want the information?

No, but thanks, Bunny, I’ll let you know if the need should arise. Listen, it’s been a blast, but I’ve got another hot date to get ready for. We’re trying the Circ De Soliel tonight, we have a bet going, he doesn’t think it’s possible to do it on a trapeze or tight rope. I respectfully disagree, so I’m gonna prove him wrong!

Hey, you don’t have to storm off. *Sniffs* Anyone smell something burning? BBQ? *Pats head* Hey! You singed my horns! Not nice, you flame throwing.... Dragons! Gah. They’re so hot tempered. You can’t live with them, but you can certainly roll them in eleven herbs and spices, roast them and stuff them in a bucket! You ticked off the wrong demon! Just saying.

Hey, horns; *peeks around the corner at Bunny* I heard that. Have you ever heard the expression ‘Don’t tickle the dragon if you can’t stand the heat?’ *eyes are aglow with bright orange. Shoots flames from her mouth into the air, then disappears.*

Gah! My hair.  Now you’ve made me angry. Bleeping dragons! Did I ever tell you I lived next to one? All the fluffy dogs in the neighborhood kept disappearing. But the hairballs hacked up all over my lawn gave him away.  I know Bichon Frise sounds like a French pastry, but seriously, they’re much more fattening. And you know he wasn’t so fast by the time he cleaned out the neighborhood. Caught him easy. Had a nice BBQ—had the family over. *touches horn* Speaking of which. We’re still having grilling weather.

 I know where you live, sister. Bunny’s got your number. That’s right, you better scamper away. *Stops and surveys the audience. Smiles.* Uh, well...that looks like all the time we have today. Please come back the third Wednesday next month, when I interview another unsuspecting sucker, uh, guest.

For the tell all exclusive of this interesting date, pick up Dragon’s Breath in October at Decadent Publishing.  BBQ—at my house at 8:00. See you there.

Time to go get my horns filed. *mumbles* I just had them done too.

*Vanishes in a puff of smoke.*

Can One Night Transform a Woman's Life?

Seana Tramonto feels doomed when it comes to relationships. When she’s set up through the 1Night Stand service, she’s apprehensive at best. Her concern turns to ire when her match turns out to be a man who broke her heart years ago. Old wounds are slow to heal no matter how sexy the man asking for forgiveness. 

Zachary Russo, a Las Vegas policeman, is talked into doing a 1NS date. When he learns it’s with his high school tutor and friend, the girl he stood up before the Homecoming dance, he’s determined to make it up to her. But seeing her again opens his eyes to the sexy woman she’s become. Can he prove he’s grown up or will circumstance beyond his control kill their second chance?

Good morning, 1Night Standers.

Today I have Seana Tramonto, my new BFF, in my hot seat.

Hi, Seana. Tell us a little bit about yourself, besides you great sense of style.

Hi! Thanks for having me here today, Bunny. As you know, my name is Seana Tramonto, and I’m one of the four Tramonto women. There’s me and my cousins Gwen, Heather, and Ivy. Heather lives up in NY while the rest of us still call Las Vegas home. I’m an actress but not in movies or television though. I love the stage and presentation of live performances. I’ve worked on Broadway for a bit and then spent a couple of years in London working in West End shows. But after a trip to the Caymans where Heather sprung some news on us, I came back home and found work at The Smith Center. I’m a total bookworm and love learning, along with my love of living life through characters. You know, being someone different on stage, even if it’s only for an hour or so at a time. Hearing the applause, feeling valued. People have told me if it wasn’t for my focus on acting, and having lived abroad for a while, I probably would have become agoraphobic. Which is why Heather did what she did.

So, why 1NightStand? What’s happened in your past to drive you to an online dating agency?

I hate all forms of courtship ritual. Especially blind dates. The awkwardness of meeting the person, trying to get to know him without making a fool of myself, the antsy feelings afterward and wondering if he liked me or not, and if so, when he’ll call next. Waiting by the phone only to hear silence. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I haven’t gone out. I’ve been with guys, fooled around some. I just don’t like the work it takes to get to that point. You’d think that dating should be a piece of cake for me, being an actress and all. My family keeps telling me to act through dates until I become comfortable. The theory make sense, but being in a play with set lines and knowing each character’s place is sure different than improvisation in a real life situation. Bless Heather’s heart, she knows all that and booking a date for me through the agency was all her doing. She even tracked down Zach and got him to sign up and then told Madame Eve about what happened way back when….

Seana fidgets in the chair…crosses and uncrosses and crosses her legs

Sunset Heat available HERE

again…a glint off the sparkly bling on her shoes flashes….

Wherever did you get those cute shoes? Do they come in red? I’m partial to red. The color of passion, you know, and anyone that knows me knows how passionate I can be. Are you passionate, Seana? Of course you are, with a name like that.

Uh…My shoes? **looks down at the black heels covered with small silver and rhinestone studs** Oh, these. The wardrobe mistress hooked me up with this pant suit outfit and shoes so I’m not sure if they come in red or not. Knowing her they do. As for being passionate, I hadn’t thought I was until Zach showed up as my date, then my inner sexy diva decided to show herself.

So, your date. Were you surprised to see the guy that stood you up at homecoming as Madame Eve’s pick? Seriously, you didn’t tell him to go to.... *Eyes shoes again* Were those pumps on sale? Do you share? Let your BFF borrow? And that outfit. I simply must get your designer’s name. I own quite a few of them, the designers that is. You won’t believe what some people will trade their souls for these days. In the old days, it would be for fortune, turning the tide in battle, a castle, the most beautiful maiden in the land. Now, they just want to be able to stitch a few rags together and be called a genius. Whatever. Makes for great business.

Yes, I was surprised to see him. And, tell him to do what? Go to hell? The closest I came to that was completing a quote by William Congreve from “The Mourning Bride.” You know the one… “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned. Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” I did try to tell Zach to get lost though. **follows line of sight to feet again, stands and spins to show off outfit** You like? Pretty amazing stuff isn’t it? I love the black pants tapered at the ankles, the black bolero styled biker jacket, and the vest-like shirt. Different and unique just like me. Sometimes I let friends borrow stuff. Depends upon who and what and if they beg nicely. **wink** As for the designer, it’s my wardrobe mistress. She’s developing a line of clothes and dressed me up for this interview. I’m sure she’d agree with you, too, on the genius part. I’ll have to get you her number. **sits, grabs purse, and starts to rummage through it.**

I understand you have sold your soul yet. What’s your price? I mean everyone has got one right?

**glances up from bag.** What? My soul? Never thought about my price. Wait… **arches brow** Aren’t I supposed to be here talking about my night out with Zach?

Oh yeah, your date. I get so wrapped up in the girl-talk I get off track a bit. So, I guess the question on everyone’s mind is how that date went, being that you ended up going with the one guy that scarred you, and sent your dating and sex life on a never-ending screaming, train ride from hell. That’s right, isn’t it? *glances at notes, mumbles no-good, douche-bag, loser, catastrophic loss of self-esteem.* Oh here it is. Yes. A train wreck. So, about the train wreck, I mean date. *Leans closer* You do know I can call in a favor, serve him a little of his own medicine? Right?

I don’t think that’d be wise. He’s a cop. A pretty big guy. In shape, too. Used to play Lacrosse. He’s done undercover work and infiltrated a mobster ring so he knows what to look for and how to handle himself. In fact during our date, he was on the job, and it was pretty sexy seeing him work. Sure, at first I was hesitant about him being my match cause he’d broken my heart once upon a time, but it all got ironed out that night.

No?

Maybe if you came to me with this idea before our date I would have given you a different answer, but I have no need any more to wish him harm.

Really?

   Yes, really. I wouldn’t want you or your, um, associates getting hurt.

How about quickies?

Quickies?

Ready?

Uh, sure. I guess so.

How much were those shoes?

Free, as long as I spread the word about my friend. **looks in purse again** I don’t seem to have her card on me. I’ll have to get it to you later.

Are you willing to sign a contract in exchange for anything you want?

I’d have to read it over and make sure the terms were agreeable and then probably think on it before I sign it. I’ve been told I over think things a lot and then not follow through…so it might be more likely that I’d never get around to it. **sniffs the air**

Do you have any BFFs that I might need to eliminate? I mean encourage to move on. Gently of course.

Don’t we all? But the stuff they upset me about is in the past so I don’t think they need to be…eliminated did you say? Is that sulfur I smell? **squirms in seat and looks for the door** At least the one person who’d have topped my list…Zach…has been scratched off.

He must be well hung. I mean was he hung? That’s why you decided to stick it out. Right? Do you have a picture from the packet so I can get a look at this guy? I’m a great judge of character.

I don’t think I should kiss and tell. **blushes** The flush of my cheeks is probably giving me away anyway. **fans self** Geez, is it getting hot in here? As for sticking it out, I did because he actually apologized to me for the crap things he did. Sorry, I didn’t bring a picture with me, but to give a bit of an idea about his looks, he’s tall, dark-haired, has a goofy country-boy grin and beautiful hazel eyes.

Well, it looks like we’re out of time. I have an appointment with my new BFF for a fun day at the spa. It’s all the rage, in the South, deep South. There is this lava pool I just have to show you. The mineral benefits far outweigh the time you might have to spend in a burn unit. And talk about a skin peel.

The deep south? Sounds like something from one of my favorite films, “Little Nicky,” except for the skin peel part. Huh… Did you say lava pool and burn unit? **bites lower lip** Um, you know what? **rises from seat and takes a few steps toward the door** I just remembered another appointment I have to get to. **attempts a smile**

Seana?

It was nice meeting you. Thanks for chatting with me, but I, uh, gotta go. **rushes out of the room**

Hey, where are you going. I have reservations. *Jumps up* Come back. At least bring the shoes back. Seana? Bestie? Pal? Girlfriend? Gah! Now I have to stalk her. See you later. I better run before her trail gets cold. But to here all about her date, check out this tell-all exclusive: http://bit.ly/19C4CjY

Ciao!

A Very Bunny Interview with Nate

by Bunny

Good morning, Nate. 

Why, good morning! Bunny, isn’t it? The name suits you.

Yes, it’s Bunny. So, I don’t get many aliens in my hot seat. Can you tell me a little about the world your from and a whole lot about yourself?

I don’t exactly think of myself as an alien. Though to everyone on Earth, I guess I am. I belong to a mostly extinct race from the planet Claustrum. We have explosive powers, though mine are diluted since I only share 25% or less of the Claustrian DNA. My parents didn’t exactly leave me a note when they abandoned me. Now, the planet is a prison, and I have no home. When I’m not stopping by the planets I am allowed on for a little R and R, I’m transporting the cargo through space that no one else wants on board.

Why a 1Night Stand? You would think somewhere out there in the universe you’d have found a woman. Is it that impossible to find a female in space or do they have two heads or something? Seriously. Because if you’re looking, I just might know this hot demon chick that would love to take a bite out of you.

Oh, it’s very easy to find a woman in space. But after a while, two heads, and three boobs gets boring. I didn’t want fun, I wanted something more. I wanted to know that there was someone always there for me, something I had for only a very short time in my life. But that love was stolen away from me.

Madame Eve is very exclusive. She screens all her clients very carefully. So, tell me, is there anything you might be hiding? Any reason why an eligible young...what are you exactly...would scare women away? You’re not a stalker are you? Oh, please tell me you are.

Stalker? Um, no. You know, I’m banned from several planets, right?

Buy Another Night, Another Planet HERE

Banned. Even better. You know, I have a thing for stalkers *winks* Plus I’m into the whole role-playing bit if you’d like to mix it up a bit. I’m quite schooled in Japanese knot tying, ball gags, rubber sheets and baby oil...wait, you’re the one that likes to be the stalker. We can certainly take turns if you want.

*raises eyebrow* Um, Bunny?

Well, you sounded like a bad boy. Did I misread this crazy energy coming off you? I can’t help it if you send mixed signals. Fine. You don’t know what you’re missing. Maybe I should go back to that military base I vacationed at last month. At least they were fine with playing hide and seek in the woods, and for your information, they loved my rope skills. 

I’m sure they did.

Back to the interview. I’ve heard about some alien ceremonies. Do you mind putting this cone-shaped hat on while I throw wreaths at it? Nate?

*crickets chirping.*

Not your planet? I could swear...where are my notes. *digs through purse* How about we just give it a little try? If you don’t want to wear the hat, I’m sure I can come up with something else to toss my rings on. 

Really? This is your idea of an interview?

                                                     

Yes. What’s your idea of a date, I mean interview?

*Stares*

Fine. Since you don’t want to cooperate with the alien games, I’ll just ask you a few more questions about your date. Tell me, what’s it like to get in on in zero grav? I’ve always wanted to try the whole space thing. Do you have to break out the Velcro suits?

My bunk is very small. There’s not much room to float around. Though plenty of room to have some fun, if you know what I mean.

There’s a questionnaire that is very specific, that you have to fill out before Madame Eve screens you. Could you tell the audience a few of the “musts” your ideal woman should possess? *Pulls out notebook* Please ignore the note taking. This is strictly for research purposes. Let’s start with your address and phone number, or the best way you can be reached.

That questionnaire was crazy! But I managed to get through it. A must for me was someone able to stand heat, and not afraid of a little fire. And I wanted a woman who enjoyed the cuddle time after, just as much as the sex. In all reality, the woman I described was exactly like my first love.

You just described all my attributes, except the cuddling part. But I’m great with fire. I’ll just get that personal data from you after the interview. So...Anna was selected for your date. Tell me a bit about her.

Ava.

Anna—Ava. If you ask me they sound the same.  So, tell me a bit about April? Was she everything you thought she would be?

Ava, and yes.

That’s too bad.

She is everything I was looking for. Exactly who I wanted for my date. Though, I never expected to see her again. Bunny, are you listening?

*Glances down at nails.* WHAT IS THAT!? Is my polish chipped? I swear they are getting cheaper and cheaper at the salon with the polish these days. *Looks up* Of course I’m listening. Go on about Allie....

*Leans forward* Are you getting a little warm? Your face looks rather flushed. You know what could help that? A nice cool shower. I have this garden hose from a previous interview. I’d be happy to hose you off, but you might want to take off that shirt first...and maybe the pants. Why don’t you just strip.

I don’t think so.

No?

No.

You know, you’re killing me. I had all these props ready to go when I heard we were having an alien today. Let’s just skip to the quickies. You ready?

Always.

Blondes or brunettes. 

Brunettes.

Tall or short? 

Somewhere in between.

T or A?

Both work for me.

Human or demon? I know you like demon. Admit it. 

Human. Sorry, Bunny.

You really don’t know what you’re missing. 

I’ve got Ava. I’m not missing anything.

Well, I’m getting the signal that it’s time to wrap this interview up. But before you go, Nate, could you tell me where you might have parked your ship? 

Later, Bunny. Thanks for the, um… interesting interview.

Hey come back here. I still haven’t...whatever. Just wait for me back stage. K? 

If you’d like to know more about Anna and Nate’s, I mean Ava and Nate’s date, you can purchase the tell-all exclusive, Another Night Another Planet here, since Nate isn’t cooperating.

See you next month when I interview...where are my notes? Hey! Has anyone seen my notes!?

Gah! I need a personal assistant. Forget it. I’ve got bigger aliens to catch. Anyone see where that cute guy from another world went? He was going to give me a tour of his ship. Nate? Hey Nate! Where’d you go? You know Bunny likes playing this little hard to get game, but come on, I’ve got my heels on and I don’t run that fast in them.

Nate? Pumpkin? Baby?

I better go. His trail is going to get cold.

Ciao.

Another Night, Another Planet 

Limited by status…

Ava is a housekeeper aboard Star Spirit, a luxury cruise ship travelling between the Milky Way and the Belvarian System. Coming from a middle-class family on Earth, she is considered by passengers as nothing more than an object to be tossed away when they’re done with her.

Shunned because of his lineage…

Banned from several planets across the universe, Nate struggles to run his interstellar shipping business. But the DNA of an exterminated race runs through his blood, giving him a diluted form of their powers, and leaving him labeled as a terrorist.

Both searching for the one…

Through her 1Night Stand dating service, Madame Evangeline matches these two together for a celestial escape on the pleasure planet, Elatia.