Good morning, Nate.
Why, good morning! Bunny, isn’t it? The name suits you.
Yes, it’s Bunny. So, I don’t get many aliens in my hot seat. Can you tell me a little about the world your from and a whole lot about yourself?
I don’t exactly think of myself as an alien. Though to everyone on Earth, I guess I am. I belong to a mostly extinct race from the planet Claustrum. We have explosive powers, though mine are diluted since I only share 25% or less of the Claustrian DNA. My parents didn’t exactly leave me a note when they abandoned me. Now, the planet is a prison, and I have no home. When I’m not stopping by the planets I am allowed on for a little R and R, I’m transporting the cargo through space that no one else wants on board.
Why a 1Night Stand? You would think somewhere out there in the universe you’d have found a woman. Is it that impossible to find a female in space or do they have two heads or something? Seriously. Because if you’re looking, I just might know this hot demon chick that would love to take a bite out of you.
Oh, it’s very easy to find a woman in space. But after a while, two heads, and three boobs gets boring. I didn’t want fun, I wanted something more. I wanted to know that there was someone always there for me, something I had for only a very short time in my life. But that love was stolen away from me.
Madame Eve is very exclusive. She screens all her clients very carefully. So, tell me, is there anything you might be hiding? Any reason why an eligible young...what are you exactly...would scare women away? You’re not a stalker are you? Oh, please tell me you are.
Stalker? Um, no. You know, I’m banned from several planets, right?
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Banned. Even better. You know, I have a thing for stalkers *winks* Plus I’m into the whole role-playing bit if you’d like to mix it up a bit. I’m quite schooled in Japanese knot tying, ball gags, rubber sheets and baby oil...wait, you’re the one that likes to be the stalker. We can certainly take turns if you want.
*raises eyebrow* Um, Bunny?
Well, you sounded like a bad boy. Did I misread this crazy energy coming off you? I can’t help it if you send mixed signals. Fine. You don’t know what you’re missing. Maybe I should go back to that military base I vacationed at last month. At least they were fine with playing hide and seek in the woods, and for your information, they loved my rope skills.
I’m sure they did.
Back to the interview. I’ve heard about some alien ceremonies. Do you mind putting this cone-shaped hat on while I throw wreaths at it? Nate?
Not your planet? I could swear...where are my notes. *digs through purse* How about we just give it a little try? If you don’t want to wear the hat, I’m sure I can come up with something else to toss my rings on.
Really? This is your idea of an interview?
Yes. What’s your idea of a date, I mean interview?
Fine. Since you don’t want to cooperate with the alien games, I’ll just ask you a few more questions about your date. Tell me, what’s it like to get in on in zero grav? I’ve always wanted to try the whole space thing. Do you have to break out the Velcro suits?
My bunk is very small. There’s not much room to float around. Though plenty of room to have some fun, if you know what I mean.
There’s a questionnaire that is very specific, that you have to fill out before Madame Eve screens you. Could you tell the audience a few of the “musts” your ideal woman should possess? *Pulls out notebook* Please ignore the note taking. This is strictly for research purposes. Let’s start with your address and phone number, or the best way you can be reached.
That questionnaire was crazy! But I managed to get through it. A must for me was someone able to stand heat, and not afraid of a little fire. And I wanted a woman who enjoyed the cuddle time after, just as much as the sex. In all reality, the woman I described was exactly like my first love.
You just described all my attributes, except the cuddling part. But I’m great with fire. I’ll just get that personal data from you after the interview. So...Anna was selected for your date. Tell me a bit about her.
Anna—Ava. If you ask me they sound the same. So, tell me a bit about April? Was she everything you thought she would be?
Ava, and yes.
That’s too bad.
She is everything I was looking for. Exactly who I wanted for my date. Though, I never expected to see her again. Bunny, are you listening?
*Glances down at nails.* WHAT IS THAT!? Is my polish chipped? I swear they are getting cheaper and cheaper at the salon with the polish these days. *Looks up* Of course I’m listening. Go on about Allie....
*Leans forward* Are you getting a little warm? Your face looks rather flushed. You know what could help that? A nice cool shower. I have this garden hose from a previous interview. I’d be happy to hose you off, but you might want to take off that shirt first...and maybe the pants. Why don’t you just strip.
I don’t think so.
You know, you’re killing me. I had all these props ready to go when I heard we were having an alien today. Let’s just skip to the quickies. You ready?
Blondes or brunettes.
Tall or short?
Somewhere in between.
T or A?
Both work for me.
Human or demon? I know you like demon. Admit it.
Human. Sorry, Bunny.
You really don’t know what you’re missing.
I’ve got Ava. I’m not missing anything.
Well, I’m getting the signal that it’s time to wrap this interview up. But before you go, Nate, could you tell me where you might have parked your ship?
Later, Bunny. Thanks for the, um… interesting interview.
Hey come back here. I still haven’t...whatever. Just wait for me back stage. K?
If you’d like to know more about Anna and Nate’s, I mean Ava and Nate’s date, you can purchase the tell-all exclusive, Another Night Another Planet here, since Nate isn’t cooperating.
See you next month when I interview...where are my notes? Hey! Has anyone seen my notes!?
Gah! I need a personal assistant. Forget it. I’ve got bigger aliens to catch. Anyone see where that cute guy from another world went? He was going to give me a tour of his ship. Nate? Hey Nate! Where’d you go? You know Bunny likes playing this little hard to get game, but come on, I’ve got my heels on and I don’t run that fast in them.
Nate? Pumpkin? Baby?
I better go. His trail is going to get cold.
Limited by status…
Ava is a housekeeper aboard Star Spirit, a luxury cruise ship travelling between the Milky Way and the Belvarian System. Coming from a middle-class family on Earth, she is considered by passengers as nothing more than an object to be tossed away when they’re done with her.
Shunned because of his lineage…
Banned from several planets across the universe, Nate struggles to run his interstellar shipping business. But the DNA of an exterminated race runs through his blood, giving him a diluted form of their powers, and leaving him labeled as a terrorist.
Both searching for the one…
Through her 1Night Stand dating service, Madame Evangeline matches these two together for a celestial escape on the pleasure planet, Elatia.