Monday, September 3, 2012

Lies, More Lies and Statistics

By Barbara Elsborg
Brits are thought of as fairly straitlaced, stiff upper lip and all that. Until the arrival of 50 Shades which has shown us to be as obsessed with eroticism as the rest of the world, marital aids were confined to cups of tea and hot water bottles, but research has shown Brits lead the world in our interest in spanking. Whether that dates back to the outdated view of seeing corporal punishment as a way to build character, I don’t know, but I’m intrigued. (Not enough to try, husband, unless you want to volunteer?)
Apparently Brits also score highly in online searches for CFNM. (I’m not one of the searchers. I had no idea what that was.) It’s Clothed Female Naked Man sites where submissive men are ordered to strip by pretty women who then make fun of their tackle. How appealing does that sound? (Not to me, says husband) Women in New Zealand are top of the list for sexual partners in a lifetime at 20.4. I do wonder what the point 4 looks like. Austrian men are the most promiscuous with 29.3 partners over a lifetime. That’s a lot!
Sex in Thailand lasts the shortest at 10 minutes. (Must tell husband, he’ll feel so much better )
Longest in Brazil at 30 minutes. (Are you listening, husband?)
Biggest breasts in Australia. (No, we’re not emigrating, dear heart)
41% of French people have participated in an orgy. (France sounds appealing!! Sshh – don’t tell him I said that)

Worst lovers – worst at the top
Germany (too smelly)
England (too lazy)
Sweden (too quick)
Holland (too dominating)
America (too rough)

World's Best Lovers

Which goes to prove nothing at all! How many people do they ask when they do these surveys? How many lie? Though clearly those in Thailand haven’t learned how to lie!
I’m thinking of moving to France though – oh unless they’re lying too. Darn it.

Copy of my e-book On The Right Track for a commentator who can suggest why Spain comes at the top of that list. Is it purely down to Antonio Banderas?


  1. These surveys... what to believe? I've seen one that listed Australian men as the worst lovers (would not surprise me - I'm Australian!). But then I’m willing to bet there're heaps of countries not even surveyed where things are worse!

    I suspect the biggest breasts things here has more to do with our high obesity rate... So guys don’t get too excited – we’re not all porn stars!

  2. Would like to meet the person/s in charge of having to ask such... delicate questions. When I'm not checking out my large breasts in the mirror, or making fun of DH's, tackle. Yeah, I'm Aussie. Still it is food for thought. Thanks for sharing Barbara.

  3. Ha ha Basia Rose! But we have a terrible obesity rate too. I want to know why when you lose weight, it comes off your bust and not your butt - well for me anyway.

    And me too, Angela! I'd have to ask with a bag on my head.

  4. You always come up with the most interesting bits of information, regardless of whether surveys are to be believed or not!!

  5. Thanks, Arlene. I reckon they only ask a few hundred people and then claim it as fact!

  6. I love this blog. :) Thanks for facts. Austrian men have lots of partners from all the tourist snow bunnies. lol And Spain is because of the siestas...and the accent. :)

    smurfettev AT gmail DOT com

  7. Brazil. The answer is Brazil. This is not a survey, this is from the wife of Brazilian. The correct answer is Brazil. Hope this clears a few things up. ;)

  8. Javier Bardem's nothing to sneeze at, either.

    Banderas, Bardem Ay, muy caliente!

    (But on the other hand...USA! USA! USA! A lot to be said for Wonder Bread and Colgate!)

  9. LOL, guys! My husband is part Danish - I daren't check what they stand out for!

  10. And the winner is....Basia Rose. If you send me your email and details of what format you want, I'll get Decadent to send you the book

    bjel at btinternet dot com

    Thanks for commenting, everyone!