by Arlene Webb
Listing things you hope to accomplish before Mr. D holds your soul, and putting a line through them one by one is a good motivator to stop being a robotic zombie shuffling for brains after the nine to five, and dip into the gelato and chocolates instead.
The list can be as long as you’d like for those with the freedom of not knowing when the bucket will tip. It gets simpler with an expiration date. Being terminal you’d be motivated to skip things such as hang with your siblings, clean your closets, tidy your paperwork and get on with the parachuting, bungee jumping, pole dancing and so forth. For those facing corporal punishment the possibilities become quite limited, and it requires strong motivation and planning to cross off anything more than a smoke and a steak dinner before checking out.
So, top of my bucket list on this day is throwing a party to celebrate my current DP release, Last Request. Share something on your list of must-dos, and a random commentator will win an e-copy! Remember to leave your email address in your comment so we can contact you!
Here’s opening page:
As you can see by my attached application, I am an ideal candidate for your matching service. Unless you believe in ghosts (ha ha), it’ll be impossible for me to breach contract by attempting to find anyone who wishes to remain a stranger after a one-night stand.
This would surely be a risk-free set up for any potential date. Please consider leaving out details of my identity, as I fear opportunistic journalists/news reporters. With that in mind, I left the preferred height, weight, shape, race, personality and so forth options blank. Clean with an XY chromosome is more than I deserve, and all this sinner would hope for.
If you’re wondering how one such as me could have the audacity to even contact you, well, what do I have to lose? I beg pardon for my crudeness, but seeing as electrocution is currently an acceptable form of execution in this sovereign state, I’ve fantasized for months about a bang the night prior to the roast.
I have the means to persuade the warden into allowing this rendezvous to happen. Authorities may agree just to avoid agitation between the anticipated media spectacle and me. There’s been much controversy concerning a woman in the electric chair for the first time in a decade, and the warden expects I’ll remain steadfast in my refusal to appeal or prolong the inevitable. With consideration of my right to exit this world sooner rather than later, I anticipate every home within a thousand mile radius will have their power off Saturday afternoon, two weeks from today.
I’ll be moved to the D ward shortly and unable to converse further with anyone but the chaplain and warden. Please consider this my last request.
Prison number 24609