Welcome to my first interview on the 1Night Stand blog. To kick of my monthly interviews, I’m sitting with Caileigh, or better known by her stage name, Autumn. Before I get started, I’ll introduce myself. My name is Bunny, I’m a demon. But I’m sure you realized that with the horns and pointy tail. I’m from the Deep South, Southern Succubus. Like Northern, but with less suck.
That was a joke. *Sighs.* I really do have a wicked sense of humor, or at least I’ve been told I do, but you’re giving me a bit of a complex. *Taps nails on armrest.* Here, let me try another. So, a Marine, sailor, soldier and fighter pilot were sitting at this table in a strip club....
Ah, screw the punch line; I’ve completely forgotten it thinking about all that hot flesh at the table. Really, I do have my weaknesses. Speaking of strip clubs, uh, gentlemen’s clubs, our very special guest today could probably tell us a thing or two about them.
*Crosses legs and turns toward interviewee*
*Waves at everyone.*
My, she is a perky bubbly demon or demoness? I wonder if there are gender specifics like here on earth. I’ll have to ask Orias. I still haven’t gotten used to all things paranormal since Orias has led me into a world I never knew existed. Seeing demons especially a pretty one is much better than the ones who tried to suck out my soul.
Dear, you can call me a Succubus, but I prefer Bunny. But I have to tell you, it’s the pretty ones you should worry about.
*Eyes flash red*
Autumn, I’ve been told that you dance for a living, and so I’m just going to get to the question that’s on everyone’s mind. However do you walk in those shoes, and where can I get a pair? Do they come in red? Sorry I guess that was three questions. I get a little excited when it comes to shoes. So, were they on sale?
I love shoes. *Looks down at my killer bedazzled stilettos and crosses my leg.* These babies take a bit of practice to walk in. Definitely not something you want to work on in a public setting. I think it took about a week to walk okay in them. I suggest starting with a five inch stiletto and moving up to these babies. They come in many colors, shapes, I even have ones that are clear that have lights in them that twinkle :P Unfortunately these cost around a hundred and fifty bucks a pair. A good secret is to buy the grip pads at the store and stick those babies on. It’s like sandpaper. That way I’m less likely to fall and break my….
I understand you had a rough break out of high school and turned to shaking...er, the entertainment business to pay the bills. Tell me a bit about your current job. Are the tips good? Do you like your boss—co-workers?
I shake my…er…very well and I’m proud of it. I go to work three or four nights a week, if I want. The job is not hard. I meet great people and not so great people, men and female alike. The tips depend on the tipper. There are guys who come and buy the two requisite drinks and don’t tip at all. Then there are the guys or gals that shower us with money. The tips are good enough to pay for my college education, and basic needs. My boss is cool. There of course are some catty females, but we’re still a family that looks out for one another and warns if creeps are attempting to cross boundaries.
Being in the line of work you’re in, men must come on to you constantly. Can you share one of your favorite pickup lines?
Did it hurt? When you fell out of Heaven?
The H word? He insinuated you fell from the H word? You did ask him if he kisses his mother with that mouth, didn’t you? He better tip after saying something like that. Creep!
I thought that was corny but cute and he was such a good tipper.
Here’s the worst….You know what would look really good on you? No, what? I say. He says. Me. I had a bouncer haul his ass out for that one. He had stalker eyes.
I love stalkers. Oh speaking of stalking. I had this amazing idea for a television show once. Hold on, you’re going to love this. Stalking with the Stars. *Claps hands* I found this producer and pitched the idea, which I thought he totally digged, because he had me served with a “restraining order”. Of course, moi, *presses hand to chest,* being the innocent I am, thought he meant to cuff him to a bed and gag him. Well, not a bed, the casting couch, but you know what I mean. I says, oh, Bunny, he knows you too well. I mean it was right up my alley. Bondage, domination, the whole bit. Once had this temp job working the summer for the Marquis de Sade. He didn’t have safe words but....
*Blinks and looks out over a silent audience*
*Turns back to Autumn and smiles*
So, you contacted Madame Eve for a 1NightStand. Why would such an obviously beautiful woman need her services? I know a thing or two about temptation, and honey you are working it. So again, why do you need her to find you the perfect one-night man?
It’s hard to meet people and let them in when you do what I do. I’ve watched many relationships go bad and well. College men are still a bit immature. When you grow up like I did…let’s just say I grew up way before my time. When you haven’t “been with a man ever” things get more complicated. I figured hey, why not?
A virgin? I thought they were myth, like Elvis Presley? I mean really, everyone has seen the dude since he bit it years ago, and we all know that is not possible. What would he be by now, two hundred? There are more sightings of him than UFOs—and that dude from the Verizon commercials that doesn’t know how to listen, but wanders around aimlessly asking, “Can you hear me now.” Seriously, there’s got to be more to that story than bad reception.
*Taps nails on chair*
So...a virgin. *
Clears throat and squirms in seat*
Okay, we’re moving on.
Madame Eve is very selective of her clientele. She completes extensive background and medical checks, as well as a long list of questions you must anwser just to be considered for her service. Can you tell me some of the attributes you were looking for in your ideal match—what rings your bell?
*Traces the hem of my skirt and thrumbs my fingers over my thigh.* Hmmm. I need an intelligent man with goals and drive to succeed in life. A family man and well, being muscular, and having animalistic magnetism is an added extra bonus. Finally someone who could see me and not my job.
I hope he was everything you dreamed of, and if he wasn’t, come see me. We could probably work out some kind of deal. I’m in the negotiating business and what’s one measly soul anyway? Right?
He exceeded my expectations. When Madame Eve makes a match anything…and I mean anything, is possible. *I know the dreamy face, the stuck on stupid in love expression is on my face.*
Before you go, let’s do some quickies. You do like quickies, don’t you?
Pity. Much fun.
How tall does he have to be to get on the ride?
Hmmm. Six foot four. Although I like the size of his… more than his height.
A girl after my own heart. Boxers or briefs?
Neither. I’m now a fan of commando.
Champagne or beer?
Beer. I’m a wheat ale girl.
Suits or blue jeans?
Blue jeans. Orias’ ass looks so good in them. Suits look good but not as good as jeans.
Chocolates or flowers?
Rock or Hip Hop?
I like Hip Hop but a tiny amount of Rock too. Both?
Are you sure those shoes don’t come in red?
*Laughs* I think you were zoning out on my bedazzled ones when I said they do come in every color of the rainbow and then some.
I do get easily distracted. You wouldn’t mind letting me borrow them, would you? Never mind, I’ll just stalk the shoe store guy. He gives in eventually, and puts out. It’s easier really. And much more fun than trying to pry them off your feet while I hold you down with my pitchfork. With those legs, I bet you could kick like a mule. What muscle tone you have! I just have to have your personal trainer’s number before you go. But enough about that. It’s time to go. Thanks for stopping by today, Autumn.
*Turns toward audience.*
To find out how the date went, you can get all the dirty little details in this exclusive tell all book, Tell Me No Lies. Here’s the LINK
*The wind shifts and I grin at what’s coming. I feel the brush of his wings on my face and his lips on my nape as he comes into view wings retracted.* Leave it to Orias to make a grand entrance at just the right time to take me home. Quirks a questioning brow at my hostess in her demon glory as she prattles on, he flirts with the audience.
Please join me next month while I put a recruiter for the Space Station through her paces.
Thank you for hosting me. I don’t want to be rude.... *I open my mouth to speak just as Orias transports us home, cutting off my chance*