*Pops
into chair wearing pink ACUs and waves to the audience.*
Good
Morning, 1NightStanders. Today, I’m talking to Sergeant Bobby Martin, an Air
Force Pararescueman.
Okay,
I know it’s not just me thinking this, what’s a Pararescueman?
Bobby: Okay, let’s get this over with. Generally I’m
not one to toot my own horn, but it took a lot to get here and that’s something
I’m extremely proud of. So, we are also known as PJs, a group of Air Force
elite, and are the only group in the Department of Defense specifically trained
and equipped to conduct conventional and unconventional rescue processes. Our
main mission is personnel recovery and combat search and rescue operations.
Additionally,
PARARECUEMEN are among the most highly trained emergency trauma specialists in
the U.S. military and we must earn and maintain an emergency medical technician
paramedic qualification throughout their careers. Just for shits and giggles I
brought along the list of training we have to go through to be a pararescueman.
After completion of six weeks of Basic Military Training, we spend the next 17
months training at the following schools:
•The PARARESCUE/Combat Control
Indoctrination Course
10 weeks, Lackland AFB, TX
•US Army Airborne Parachutist School
3 weeks, Fort Benning, GA
•US Army Combat Divers School
4 weeks, Key West, FL
•US Navy Underwater Egress Training
1 day, Pensacola NAS, FL
•US Air Force Basic Survival School
2 and a half weeks, Fairchild AFB, WA
•US Army Military Freefall Parachutist School
5 weeks, Yuma Proving Grounds, AZ
•Special Operations Combat Medic Course
22 weeks, Fort Bragg, NC
•PARARESCUE Recovery Specialist Course
20 weeks, Kirtland AFB, NM
Then
the real fun begins. Many of us have spent the greater part of the past eight
years in Iraq and Afghanistan where we have one mission only, and that is to
rescue American or Allied forces in extreme danger. Our targets have been shot down or are
isolated behind enemy lines, surrounded, engaged, wounded, or captured by the
enemy, we will do whatever necessary to bring our brothers and sisters home.
That’s
it in a nutshell.
There
is something so hot about men in uniform. I was in the Army once. My father has
a legion, real elite. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. Anyway, I served as a
recruiter. There was this Roman Centurion I once knew.... I mean if you’re
going to go all out, Centurion is the way to go. Pararescuemen are a lot like
Centurions, they are both hot, and soldiers. One flies in a helicopter and the
other...okay, so there not a lot alike, but a girl can dream, can’t she? You
wouldn’t understand until you’ve seen a man with great legs wearing a tunic and
armor. And though I love the primitive charm of a man with a sword, there’s
certainly nothing wrong with a man who knows how to handle a gun.
Er,
weapon. Isn’t that what they’re calling it these days? Sword—gun, they’re all
rather phallic wouldn’t you say?
So,
Bobby....
Bobby:
(cocks an eyebrow)
Tell
everyone a bit about yourself. What it is you do? How you got into your current
line of work.
Bobby:
Beyond all the other stuff that PJ’s do, I’m also a trained sniper. Comes in
handy now and then. As for what got me here? I’d have to give my mother credit
for that one. She gave me a strong sense of honor and pride in my country, and
while she may not have thought I’d take this route with my life, it was really
the only way I could see myself going. I wouldn’t want to do anything else.
Bobbie:
Actually I’d, uh…well, I helped my Lieutenant get together with his wife
through 1 Nightstand. After they got married, I was bullied into using the
service for myself.
Tell
me about what you were looking for in a woman, what qualifications were a must
on that application?
Bobbie:
All women are hot in their own way. But for me, long legs, a nice rack. Typical
guy stuff, I guess.
Was
your date everything you expected?
Bobbie:
Not exactly. I mean Siobhan was, for sure! The moment I saw her I was hooked.
But she also tripped every warning bell I had, too.
Anything
you didn’t?
Bobby:
Being shot at was a real buzzkill. Having my teammates come rescue us with
Siobhan wrapped in only a sheet wasn’t fun either. The jackasses still haven’t
let me forget it.
All right,
let’s get to the quickies. Everyone likes the quickies.
Damsel
in Distress or Xena, Warrior Princess?
Bobby:
Xena
T
or A?
Bobby:
T
Boxers
or briefs?
Bobby:
Commando
Southern
Belles or Northern Babes?
Ever
had a little demon tail?
Bobby:
No. But I’ve kicked some demon as— um, tail.
What?
It’s a legitimate question. I’ve really been doing my best lately to behave,
but such hotness sitting across from me, and well, I regress a teeny bit. I’m a
lover, not a fighter. Okay, okay, so I have been known to shove the occasional
date into lava and torment the damned, but I have my reasons.
Okay,
that pretty much kills our time like a sniper with a bullet.
Stop
by next month and see who sitting in the hot seat. Thanks for stopping by
Bobby, oh, and one last question for the road.
You’re
traveling to Singapore on the Oriental Express. You see a little man hobble
toward the baggage cars and go inside. You go after him to tell him the
sleepers are in the other direction, only to find him tearing through luggage.
When you ask him what he’s doing, he turns around and you realize the old dude
isn’t old at all. In fact, he’s not a dude. The woman has a twelve inch blade
and lunges for you. All you have in your pockets are chopsticks from the lo
mien you’d been eating and floss, because you have fantastic dental hygiene.
You’re
too far from the exit to get to it before she gets to you and guts you like a
fish. What do you do?
Bobby:
First off, we Pararescuemen are trained in hand-to-hand combat. This princess
doesn’t stand a chance with her pointy fingernail file. And it’s not like I can
just ignore her or call train security. I glance at the baggage she’d been
digging through. Oh, sh*t, there’s weapon’s grade uranium in there. Must have
been what she’d been after. Now we’re talking national security. The b*tch is
going down. I just wait for her lunge, disarm her, and hog tie her with a belt
from one of the bags she’d been rifling through. From another suitcase, I grab
a sock and stuff it in her mouth. Whipping out my chopsticks from my back
pocket, I stick them between her teeth (so she can’t spit out the sock), and
tie them behind her head with the floss. Now that she’s secure, I call the
train security officer and report the threat to national security.
Thanks
for stopping by today, Bobby. To hear more about how this hunky military man’s
date went, pick up your copy of the tell-all exclusive, In My Sights, at
Buy
Links:
Bunny, Bobby said to tell you thanks for the talk and anytime you want to practice your shot he'll meet you at the range.
ReplyDeleteBobby sure has all the right moves! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat interview. I love a man that goes Commando, easier access. LOL. Definately a new author for me and going to have to check out this series.
ReplyDeleteI'm always so relieve when Bunny has someone else's characters in her sights. Or, in this case, someones'. Great interview.
ReplyDeleteLoved this And story!!!!!!! And of course I love Bunny too! Great Interview
ReplyDeleteAs amusing as always!! I'd have stuck those chopsticks somewhere lethal. - Well, no, I'd have run away screaming like a baby but I can dream.....
ReplyDelete