Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Bunny Does Mumbai

Welcome 1Night Standers, I have the recently unemployed Thomas Barkley in my hot seat today.
*Turns toward Thomas*
*Smiles and pulls out a large book*
I understand you’re looking for employment quite recently, in fact.

Yep. Newly fired. Still a little pissed off about the whole incident, if you want to know the truth.

Tell us a little bit about yourself. What you do for work...your hobbies...if you’ve sold your soul.

Soul? Oh my God. That’s a personal question! But no, no, I have not. Well, sometimes when you’re working the company grind it FEELS like you have. I’m am—was—a contract negotiator for oil companies. The ones who go into Third World countries to pump out their oil. You wouldn’t believe how many rules and regulations there are for each different country. So, now that you mention it, I do – did – work for large oil hungry corporations that preyed on Third World countries. Soul-less?

*Shrugs* Perhaps. It’s a job.

What? It was a serious question.
*Scrutinizes Bunny*
You’re asking me that question while wearing a see-through pink camisole and a skirt higher than the Empire State Building? Uh huh. Let’s go on to the next question.

Listen, sweet stuff, when you can carry off this outfit the way I do, which will be never, you can comment of it. I rock this. On to the next question: I’m not done negotiating for your soul. Everyone has a price, and I’m sure I can find yours. Besides, it’s not so bad down there. Nice and warm, none of that polar...vortex, stuff. I have to tell you, since the thermometer dropped, I’ve been doing quite the business.
*Sees Thomas staring—Blinks—Waves hand.* Never mind. Don’t need you that bad, sweet stuff. So tell the audience why a 1Night Stand? Why a high-dollar, exclusive service, especially if you’ve recently found yourself without a job?

Actually I asked Madame Eve for a date a long time ago. Like six months ago. I received no reply. *narrows eyes* Frankly, I was beginning to wonder if the whole thing was a scam. I had absolutely no idea she’d set me up the day I lost my–as you pointed out, completely soul-sucking-job. To tell you the truth, I was considering bagging the whole idea.
*takes a deep breath*
But the red light district in Mumbai is really not my scene.
It’s not so bad. A lot of action there. So, the infamous application.

Tell us a little about your date’s requirements, what you’d like to see in your ideal man.

I have to tell you, I’m a sucker for an accent too. I tell you, I was so devastated after Rashid’s arrest, that for a long time I couldn’t even bring myself to think about sex. I buried myself in my work. When I filled out the application, I might as well have just put HELP in all big letters. That’s where my mind was. I don’t have a particular type that turns me on, but dark hair and dark eyes definitely help, and a nice body. And I’m totally with you on the accent!

Was Arjun everything you thought he’d be?

Arjun was a big surprise to me. I never expected to find him in a million years. He’s the kind of guy who’s soft in the middle and that makes me soft in the middle, but he’s also strong. I’m stronger on the outside, I can stand up to the bullies and take the heat. Arjun is a bends-in-the-wind guy, he’s more a survivor than anything, and I absolutely love him for the pain and suffering he’s already survived in his life, which in my opinion is way too much. I’m so thankful he accepted my offer to try a new life with me.

I understand there was an incident with a gun. Have you ever been shot at before?

Well when you go to negotiate contracts in a Third World countries, you aren’t always dealing with a guy in a suit sitting in a high-rise. Sometimes you’re on a plantation surrounded by guards and the guards are armed and not friendly. Have I been in situations where the guards got a little trigger happy? Sure. Have I been shot personally? No. I try to avoid that all costs. I’ve never had anybody I work with die on an assignment, but it’s a fact of life it could happen. Bullies are everywhere, and like the men who paid for sex with Arjun and then beat the crap out of him? *grits teeth* I want to just f-ing kill them.

I could take care of that little issue, for a teensy-weensy price. Just saying. You know, if you’d like a little pay back. Buy here, pay later.... Kind of like an eternal credit card. We’re having a special this week, too.

You want to shoot me? What? Have you got a pink 22 in your...bra? *raises eyebrows*
Sometimes I’m glad I’m a gay man. I totally don’t understand women.

Silly boy, I meant—take care of Arjun’s former pimp. But if you’d like to experience what it’s like to get shot, I’m happy to oblige. No?


Okay, we’ll move to quickies. Everyone loves the quickies.
Boxers or briefs?

Yes. You don’t think I go Commando on dates do you?

Blonde or brunette? 

Dark all the way. Just like Arjun. Did I mention I love his hair? The color of his skin?
*shifts in seat to conceal burgeoning erection*
Next question.

Lights on or off?

Both. With the lights off you can get hot and heavy but with the lights on it’s a better show. Give me some twilight anytime. I like shadows and seeing the man on top of me.

Are you sure you don’t want to negotiate?

Don’t say that word. Really. It’s a dirty word thanks to you! I guess I’m going to have to look for another job. Know any good Avon representatives that need a hand?

If that’s all it takes.... Look, don’t sell yourself short. I could get you a much better job than that. We have a few openings in the company. You just need to sign this teensy little contract.
*Snaps fingers and twelve foot scroll appears and rolls out in front of him.*
In blood.
*Eyes flash*
Which I can also help you with. Yes?


Well, I guess I have a little negotiating to do. Anyway, to get the inside scoop on Thomas and Arjun’s exclusive date, check out the blurb below.
*Leans forward*
Now about your soul....

Yeah. I think we’re done here! Nice talking to your breasts—I mean you, Bunny. Thanks.
*clears throat*
It’s been a pleasure.

Just keep your butt in that seat, mister. I’m working a deal here. Hey, get back here! Don’t make me stalk you. *Sighs* Now I have to run. Good help is so hard to find these days.

Stranded for twenty-four hours in Mumbai, India, contract negotiator, Thomas Barkley searches for a man who can make him forget his pain. When a trip through the red light district leaves him cold, he turns to Madame Eve’s service and finds a shot at redemption—but first, he has to survive it. 

Indian male prostitute, Arjun, begged Madame Eve to set him up for one night of real pleasure. He knows better than to expect anything but a brief hiatus from his miserable life. When Thomas showers Arjun with tender and very real affection, his heart begins to ache for more than a taste of the life he cannot have. Unfortunately, his boss Ranjeet won’t to let him go without a fight.

Amidst a spray of bullets, Thomas must convince Arjun to take a chance on a new life in America before it’s too late for both of them.


  1. Heh thanks Bunny for the fun times. But really, don't stop by too often. Arjun and I might be...busy...