Finding Balance in BDSM

Buy The Perfect Sub HERE

By Jayson Locke

While writing The Perfect Sub I found myself thinking about balance. My submissive hero, Drew, isn’t submissive in every area of his life. He owns his own business. He hasn’t let his family’s rejection of him for being gay stop him from being a success. Drew balances the part of his life where he has to be in control with the parts of his life where he gives up all control to his Dominant. And his Dominant, Holt, doesn’t mind this at all.

I’ve read many books where the submissive gives up control of his entire life to his Dominant. I’ve read many books where the D/s dynamic is solely in the bedroom. The Perfect Sub lies somewhere in between. And from what I’ve seen and read of couples in the leather community, every level of D/s you can imagine exists. Part of what makes this community and lifestyle so attractive is its flexibility, its ability to be whatever each person needs. All you have to do is find a partner whose needs match yours.

Striking that balance in a book means that the author must delve into the psyche of each main character. Drew is in control of his business life. When he comes home, he wants to give up that control to his Dominant. He doesn’t want to be the decision maker. He enjoys following orders and pleasing his lover. Letting go of his control, giving it to another person is how he finds enjoyment in life. It is also how he gets off.

Holt, on the other hand, has a deep seated need to always be in control. As a fireman he understands the value of control. It helps him do his job and helps him save lives. In his relationship with Drew he thrives on making sure Drew has what he needs at all times. Every order he gives Drew is calculated to give his submissive pleasure whether it’s the simple pleasure of cooking a meal his Dominant enjoys or the pleasure of being bound and tied to a spanking bench.

Now, much of what I just wrote is about the relationship Drew and Holt build together off screen. You see it in action only in the epilogue. The meat of ThePerfect Sub is the 1Night Stand where Drew and Holt finally get together and the truth of their feelings for each other come to light. Madame Eve forces them together and that leads to them facing what has simmered between them unspoken and not acted upon for a year.

An author needs to show the reader why each character is who he is and when you write in the world of BDSM, the characters need to ring true. The motivations behind their behaviors must ring true. If they do not, readers don’t identify with them and they end up not liking the book. I’m sure some readers don’t like Drew because he lied for a year to get something he wanted. He forced himself to be perfect in order to win Holt. That’s some pretty selfish behavior. I’m also equally sure that some readers won’t like Holt because he saw something he wanted and didn’t go after it. Someone will think that’s not very Dominant behavior.

Finding and creating the balance in a BDSM story is imperative. Probably more so than in a non-kinky romance. There are elements at work in a BDSM story that the author has to incorporate and explain in a way that the reader understands without info-dumping. When it’s done right, readers come away with the sense that they know the characters.

That’s what I strived for with The Perfect Sub. Even in a short novella like this one, I wanted the readers to understand Drew and Holt, understand why they wanted each other and what they needed to do to make their relationship work.

If you’ve read my book, I welcome your comments about it. If you haven’t read ThePerfect Sub, let me know in comments and tell me who your favorite BDSM authors are. I’ll enter you into a drawing to win a copy of The Perfect Sub. The contest is open until midnight Eastern time on June 2nd. On June 3rd, I’ll post a winner in comments. 

Thank you for coming by to read my blog post. Have a kinky day!

Jayson Locke      

Bunny Talks Bondage

 Hi, again everyone.

For those that have not met me, my name is Bunny and I’m a demon. Once a month I find a victim, um, someone, to sit in my hot seat and talk about their 1NightStand experience.

This month I’m interviewing Drew from The Perfect Sub.

Good Morning Drew. So let’s skip all the warming up and just get to the meat of this interview, shall we? They’re practically drooling in their seats out there. Please tell me what it means to be a perfect sub?  *eyes man across from her* I mean, you obviously make the handcuffs look good, but I don’t think that’s all the prerequisites needed to hold that title, is it?

Hey, Bunny! It’s good to be here…I think. *wink*  To answer your question, before I got together with Holt I thought being the perfect submissive meant always doing the things submissives are supposed to do.  My idea of how subs are supposed to be included as always kneeling in the presence of Dominants, keeping my eyes lowered and not meeting their gazes, not speaking unless asked a direct question…that sort of thing. What I learned from Holt is that every Dominant has their own idea of what’s perfect in a submissive and my ideas were vastly different than his. Now, I realize that being a perfect sub means following my master’s directives to the best of my ability, trusting in him to take care of me always, and doing everything possible to make him happy. And, of course, loving him with every cell in my body and providing him with the best blow jobs he’s ever had. *grins wickedly*

What is your favorite part of being a sub?

 Pleasing my master is my favorite part of being a submissive.  When Holt is pleased with me it hits all my subby buttons and sends me flying so high only the moment when he lets me come feels better.

How did you find your Dom?  I mean, I’d really like to know how you found your Dom. You got an address? Phone number? I’m a qualified stalker, so you need only slip me a small bit of info and I’ll take it from there. K?

*Laughs* I met Holt in an exclusive leather club called Fritz’s. You’ll find the hottest Doms and the cutest twink-submissives there.  Personally, I’m not a twink. I’m nearly as big as Holt but you’ll find subs in every size and shape imaginable at Fritz’s. There’s something for everyone there.

COMING SOON!

What do you do for a living that you feel the need to be dominated? Spanked? Tied up and played with?

I own my own company and I spend a lot of time being the guy in control. I like giving up that control in all the other areas of my life. It keeps me relaxed and helps me to stay focused both at home and at work. In a sense, giving up my control to Holt when I’m not at work is a way of being in control. I trust him with my life and my heart. Letting him make all the decisions is very freeing. And as for being spanked or put into bondage…well, the spanking satisfies the masochistic side of me that likes a little pain with my pleasure and being put into bondage is part of the whole giving up control thing.  I’ve always been a submissive. Holt says I’m a natural sub. I’ve always felt the need to give sexual control to my partner, even when I was a teenager, before I had a career.  Once I began to explore that need and I found out about BDSM and the leather lifestyle, I knew it was for me.

I mean, who doesn’t love a man who’s helpless and at my mercy. I once dated these twins and they were into the whole submissive thingie. They were like the ultimate matched set of luggage, fashionable, could take a beating and still look good, and they were great for shopping trips when I needed someone to carry all my stuff. Plus there was this red outfit I had....

*Blinks and looks around the audience* What? You haven’t ever had a set of twins? Please.... You know you would jump all over that if you had the chance. Don’t go looking all innocent now. I know naughty when I see it, and you’ve got it all over your faces.

Back to the interview.

What was your reason for applying to Madam Eve’s 1NightStand service?

I initially thought I needed someone to wipe Holt out of my head. I fell in love with him at first sight but for a year I thought he wasn’t interested in me. It was breaking my heart watching him scene with other submissives at the club. So when my best friend Atticus gave me Madame Eve’s card, I thought maybe she could hook me up with someone so charismatic that he would make me forget Holt. Instead, she hooked me up with him, for which I am eternally grateful!

Let’s do some quickies.

How tall does he have to be to get on the ride?

*Laughs uproariously* Holt is six foot two. He’s the only one allowed to ride me.

Whips or paddles? Either.  I love it when Holt wields either of them and he always knows which one is the one that I need most at any given time.

Ropes or cuffs? Cuffs. I love the feel of the leather and the sound of the chains.  Rope bondage is great but I really prefer leather cuffs.

Lights on or off? I get off on sensory deprivation so being blindfolded or in complete darkness is a turn on, but I love being able to see my master and know that I’m pleasing him.

Ever considered going out with a demon?  My bad, I just get so hot when someone goes bondage and badass on me. Just to clarify, have you?

Well, Holt is a bit of a demon at times so I suppose the answer is yes. *winks*

Thanks for stopping by today, Drew. It was fun talking, whips, chains and bondage with you. I have to tell you that you are so my type of guy. Do come by again some time. I have to take off. I have a club to check out, and a little punishment to administer. You understand, I’m sure.

For  the deets and where you can get your own tell all exclusive of  Drew’s date with Holt, The Perfect  Sub, please check out this link:

*Digs in purse* Now where did I put those handcuffs? *Pulls them out and grins* Okay, who’s first?

Ciao.